Food....porn? (yes, this post is safe for work.)

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So yesterday I made some blueberry muffins (yeah, I know, again). They were just as delicious as the first two batches.

Unfortunately, I was out of points for the day, so I couldn't nom any right then and there. I didn't really want to, though, because I had already made them twice. So I didn't feel the need to taste or try them right then and there.

My boyfriend, on the other hand, who is not on weight watchers, and therefore has infinite points per day, DID try them.

Me: "The blueberry muffins are done, you want one?"
Pete: "YES, NOM"
Me: "You know what would be totally delicious? Cut one in half and put a pat of butter in there"
Pete: "Holy crap, you're right"

It was kind of like the below photo except with hotter, softer, more together muffins, and more butter. The pic is from the blog Closet Cooking, by the way - neat blog!


Pete took a butter knife and slowly slid it down the middle of the blueberry muffin. It steamed slightly with the warmth of the oven. The aroma of hot baked flour and sugar filled the room. He didn't cut it completely into two pieces, but left a bit uncut at the bottom, so to create an envelope of muffin. He placed the pat of butter right between the halves. It immediately started to become soft with the heat. The muffin began to absorb the sweet butter as it slid slowly into the warm depths of the baked good. Pete brought it up to his mouth, and with his eyes closed, took a large bite of the sweet and savory goodness. He chewed slowly, letting the creamy butter melt on his tongue, tasting the tart blueberries and the soft muffin crumbs, savoring each bite.

I seriously could write erotic fiction, don't you think?

No but really, watching him eat this was like directing porn. Not that I know first-hand, but.... you know. One can imagine. =P

Me: "Wait, don't eat it yet! Let me sit down and get comfy here. Ok, I'm good. Go ahead. Oh - oh yeah, that's it. A little slower, oh yeah. Oh it's good, isn't it. The butter makes it totally awesome, doesn't it. Oh, take another bite. Oh yeah"
Pete: "Um - hon?"
Me: "Mmmm, yeah, what's up"
Pete: "Um. I'm trying to eat my muffin here."
Me: "Oh. Right. Carry on."

>.>

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I looked up "living vicariously through someone" on the internet. I know what it means, but it's one of those words I have trouble with. I consider myself to be fairly smart, and I'm a pretty big word nerd (I love crosswords and Scrabble) but for some reason I always want to say "living precariously though" instead of "vicariously." I know what precariously means, too. So I don't know why I mix them up. It's silly. But I went ahead and looked it up just to double check, because I was going to use it in a sentence here on my blog - and if I'm publishing something in post-form, I don't want to have any grammar/spelling mistakes.

Some example sentences I found:

"He enjoyed his friend's vacation vicariously through his friend's detailed description".
"I wish I had the guts to skydive, but I can just live vicariously through you when you go. Tell me all about it."
"For example, say you are married and can't go out and party anymore, but you have a bachelor friend that goes out clubbing, meets women, and has crazy times. You can experience those things (live vicariously) second-hand by listening to your friend tell you all about his experiences"

Or, you know, you can live vicariously through your boyfriend by watching him eat muffins hot from the oven with pats of butter on them.